It all started with a radio ad about Radon.
Radon is a colourless, odourless, radioactive gas that naturally occurs in the environment. It’s also the second leading cause of lung cancer. The moment I heard that ad, I remembered that six years previous, our contractor had made a last-ditch effort to install a radon mitigation system due to reports of high levels in the area. At the time, radon mitigation was relatively new, and I didn’t know much or think much about it.
But after hearing that ad, the alarm bell began ringing. I could see the radioactive gas lingering in the air.
Naturally, I turned to the crystal ball we call Google to learn my fate. Acute lymphoblastic leukemia….genetic mutations…damaged DNA…lung cancer….The haze became thicker and thicker. I could see it smothering my baby, consuming me for the next three months.
I went out and bought numerous radon detectors for every room in the house and spent a small fortune doing so. I had the windows open at -30 (because fresh air mitigates radon). I installed ceiling fans, and in areas where I couldn’t, I bought fans. Anything to reduce the exposure, or maybe it was anything to lessen the horror show playing out in my mind.
After a few months, the radon was no longer my enemy, but I didn’t know this was my tipping point, and I would tip again and again and again. Raw meat, toxins in clothes, EMF exposure…
I wish I could say this story ends with me getting the help I needed, but it doesn’t. I rarely talked about it because I didn’t want people to think I was crazy. When I did, I was met with toxic positivity and a lack of understanding, which only deterred me from seeking help.
I will say that as time has passed, and with each pregnancy, these instances lessened.
This post was submitted anonymously.
Learn more about perinatal OCD
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